Alex 100WC – Week 34

BOOM! They were getting closer. BOOM! They were outside the door. I shook violently under my bed, back and forth, back and forth. I wanted to run, but where could I go? The door creaked open and a ribbon light danced around the room. Two men walked in carrying jet black guns. They walked on tiptoes to the dresser and stopped there. I dared to sneak a peek and what I saw shocked me. The men were facing me and the barrel was too

“Lets go!” he said. I followed his orders but I thought I knew the voice. It was uncle Ben coming for me….       

6 thoughts on “Alex 100WC – Week 34

  1. Hi Alex,

    You’ve written a fantastic 100WC, your story had so much suspense! I really want to find out what would happen next, why was your Uncle Ben coming for you?! Great job!

    From
    Cecilia:D

  2. Hi Alex, this is a very exciting story and I would love to know what happens next! I especially like your use of description in ‘a ribbon light’ and ‘jet black guns’. Keep up the good work!

    Jacqui (Team 100)

  3. What an excellent way to end the story so that we’re unclear if the uncle has come to save you or do you harm. You built up the suspense so well right from the firs ‘Boom’ and have used language creatively. I like the fact that the door creaked open and the dancing ribbon of light.

  4. This is a really awesome piece of writing. Very interesting. I like the end paragraph, leaving the story in suspense! Great job!!

  5. Great Job Alex, very detailed and descriptive. I loved the sense of suspense in the story. I can’t wait to here from you again.

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