Charlie 100WC – Week 25

                              THE JAR                    

It was a lonely windy night. You could hear the wind howling in the trees and big dogs barking I was scared . I could taste the cool air in my mouth and everywhere I looked i saw dark. I went into the kitchen  i saw a jar I had never seen before. but when she lifted the lid she put it straight back down. Then she heard a creak it was the front door what was she going to do? she ran up the dusty old stairs and into her room. she locked the door and sat in the corner who was behind the old door…

One thought on “Charlie 100WC – Week 25

  1. I can see you’ve really worked hard to include rich, descriptive vocabulary Charlie. This makes quite a difference to a reader’s enjoyment of a story because it helps them imagine being right there and experiencing the same things the character does. The line about ‘tasting the cool air’ is wonderfully meaningful.
    The one thing you might need to have another look at is the switch you made halfway through from writing as “I” e.g. I was, to writing from a different perspective – “She”
    Can you think how you might sort that?
    Well done and keep rising to the Challenge.

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