Isabelle 100WC – Week 24

Mary Poppins

The sound of Burts harmonica was booming out of the park. Then all of a sudden a breeze came he pulled out his phone to check where the breeze was coming from, it was from the east he knew who was coming. Then Mary Poppins appeared out of nowhere Burt got frightened and jumped 10 meters high! Then Mary pulled out of her bottomless  bag a robot she shouted to Burt “my business has taken off I’m now going to use robots!” The robots were doing a great job but then they took over Mary and the rest of England!

 

One thought on “Isabelle 100WC – Week 24

  1. Hi Isabelle,
    What a fantastic story! I love Mary Poppins and used to watch it with my grandma very often when I was younger – I think your updated version is just as good as the real film, though!
    You have used time connectives to show the order things happened in, but you did use ‘then’ several times in your work – could you use other time connectives in your work next time to give more variety?
    Well done for using speech marks and punctuation correctly as this is very difficult to do right. There should be a comma just before the speech, but it’s perfect other than that!

    Keep up the good work!
    Mr Hyde
    Team 100WC
    Willoughby, Lincolnshire, England

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