Cecilia 100WC – Week 24

PETER PAN

It was a cold, dark night in London. Peter, John and I were tucked up tight in our beds, and the clock chimed 12:00pm, it was late and no one was about. It was dead quiet, when suddenly a boy came rushing through our bedroom window, it was Peter Pan and Tinkerbell and they were here inviting us to Neverland.

(30 MINUTES LATER)

Neverland was absolutely amazing, the whole island was made completely of candy! I could see little mini robots harvesting the candy, and flying books in the sky. When we all suddenly dropped, falling to our deaths…….

2 thoughts on “Cecilia 100WC – Week 24

  1. Hi Cecilia, it was a great choice to revisit Peter Pan, the boy who never grew up, but what a dark ending! I wonder if you can say a little more to explain why the sudden change in fortunes, which goes against the flavour of the rest of the story.

  2. Super work, Cecilia.
    I really like your use of adjectives in your opening sentence.
    Take care with commas. Look especially at your final sentence. I think that you need to use full stop or perhaps a semi-colon before ‘it was Peter Pan’.

    Super work! Keep it up!

    Mr Alderdice (Team 100wc)
    Manchester, UK

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